Happy 1st Blogiversary….if that’s even a thing (apparently it is).
I am writing this post on a train as we head for a lovely family holiday to Disneyland Paris, yay! A whole week with my child and another couple of thousand screaming little fuckers. I’m joking, I am sure it will be awesome and to be honest I am a little too excited for this trip. It’s been a year since I set this blog up and as a hobby it has been great fun, I know I don’t post as much as I would like to, but that comes with the territory of a 40 hour week job, a child and a very low attention span. I was thinking today ‘what have I learned about being a Dad’ in the last year and the genuine answer is…everything and nothing.
When I started out the Jam-eater was still happily shitting her own pants at every opportunity and we ventured on with potty training and we quite quickly learned not to force the subject and it worked out well – 12 months later we have a little girl who likes to sit on the toilet at length and make comedic grunting noises while knocking out a shit that she usually asks us to come and look at. She is going to make someone a fine wife one day. I think the patience learnt from potty training stands us in good stead for pretty much everything and by learning not to rush Flo into anything she invariably makes all the correct choices by herself. Well, apart from the time she insisted on us putting the cat in the slow cooker, but we don’t like to talk about that.
The nothing part of the answer is the happiest and funniest part of parenthood this year, pretty much because everything still takes us by surprise. Only today Emma found out the adhesive quality of one of Flo’s bogeys while out shopping, I thought the Jam-eater was chewing on something but as it turns out it was a bogey which popped onto her face after a sneeze. I started borking straight away, because my stomach is about as strong as a miniature tea bag in a sports direct mug, so Emma swiped the massive green snotter off of the Jam-eaters face. It took Emma a good 40 flicks to try and get rid of this bogey and she looked like she was giving her approval to a dope new rap album with the sheer ferocity of her wrist flicks.
Most of you who read this have kids so I don’t need explain any further but the unpredictable nature of toddlers doesn’t half keep you on your toes. So what’s coming up this year, well only the scariest motherfucker of all…School! I’m not going to lie, I am shitting bricks about the Jam-eater starting to school, its like handing her off to real life and I just want to hang on to my little girl as long as I can. At least we have another 7 months until this happens all we can do is enjoy the ride as much as possible.
On the note of hitting the year mark I would like to thank you all for reading this and giving my website in excess of 15,000 views in the last 12 months. I will try to get new content on the go as much as possible and hopefully try and do something extra with the website, any ideas are always welcome. Thank you again from myself and more importantly the Jam-eater.
Right then Disneyland first, time to begin the Star Wars brainwashing…