The Gooch Of The Year

Well here we are at the end of 2016 and in what I call the ‘Gooch of the year’, it’s the few days in between the pleasurable time that is Christmas and the festivities of  New Year (I’m not miserable I just don’t see the appeal of New Years Eve anymore, this is possibly related to parenthood).  Also if you don’t know what a Gooch is then please ask a friend or visit the Urban Dictionary and you will see my point.

So its been a few weeks since I last posted and to be fair its been bloody hectic, good hectic though.  We started the festive period off with a trip to Berlin for the Christmas Markets which were fantastic and involved a lot of Curry Wurst and taking in the sights.  The following week the news was dominated by the terror attack there but I must say that it would never put me off returning and I would highly recommend visiting if you can.   The Jam Eater turned continental for several days saying ‘Danke Schoen’ at every opportunity, however she also seemed to develop the phrase ‘Kill, Kill, Kill’ when faced with any of the 165 decorative bears (See below) located around the city.  We also got persuaded by Flo to buy a 4ft Princess balloon (who was known as Princess Bratwurst) from a street seller who must live in a huge mansion going by the prices that she was charging.


Christmas hit and my Bratwurst levels were nicely replaced by festive cheese levels (I’m currently still made up of about 20% cheese at this point in time and I haven’t eaten any for 24 hours).  This was the first Christmas the Jam-eater has really understood and it was so much better for it, but fucking hell is there any need for all the packing, cable ties and cardboard that comes with kids toys.  At one point I was about ready to set fire to Baby Anabelle just to make getting her out of the box that little bit easier with the same being said for all the Disney Princesses that looked like they were into some weird S&M sex games the way they were trussed up in their boxes.  Currently our house looks like an orphanage for Disney Princesses, Trolls, My Little Ponies and Shopkins, I don’t have the heart to turf the little shits out on to the streets so they have all been adopted into our home, which means until they find space in the toy boxes I am sharing the sofa with Poppy and Belle along with our stupid fuckwit of a cat licking its arse constantly.

So now its almost the end of the year and a new year beckons hopefully one with less death, more fun and the impending start to school life for the Jam eater (which I am right nervous about!).  These few days at the back end of the year are good for chilling out but aren’t half an anti climax after the Christmas period.  Ah well nothing another cheeseboard and three kilograms of chocolate wont sort out.

Have a great New year everyone and thank you for your support over the last 12 months or so.

See you in 2017!


4 thoughts on “The Gooch Of The Year

  1. The ‘gooch of the year’ is a great name for it, I’m using that in future! And you are so right about kids toys, there is no need for the packaging! We’ve had our first year of Disney princesses here and I was chuckling at the s&m boxes.


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