An Honest View Of Kids TV

There are few things which can boil my piss quicker than a quick read of the comments on a status on Facebook or particularly at the bottom of a news article, it is something Dave Gorman refers to as the ‘Bottom half of the internet’.  However that changed last week as comedian Jason Manford posted a status regarding kids TV, see below.


His annoyance with Peppa Pig is something which we can all relate to and I’m sure everyone has similar beef with other kids characters.  I for one fucking hate Mr Tumble and Norman Price from Fireman Sam, however I think this has been well documented so I will move along quickly.  So last week Emma was chuckling away to herself on the couch and turns out she was reading the ‘Bottom half of the internet’ which related to this post and for a change it was a pleasure reading.  No politics and no trolling just parents bonding as one over their particular gripes with kids TV.  I aim to share with you now the choice cuts, please feel free to let me know on here or on Facebook your preferred hate figures of kids TV.

So the first victim to fall under scrutiny was Topsy and Tim, besides the Mam being a bit tidy, nothing appeals to me regarding this show and it turns out I am not alone.


As you can see when the internet speaks, it does so in one sweary voice.  Completely agree with the Tony Welch comment too!  Who’s up next then? surely a group of helpful puppies and a child with an iPad couldn’t cause to much hate could it?  could it?





Turns out everyone thinks the same regarding Paw Patrol, I’m sure there was a good 200 comments of similar ilk  just dissecting Paw Patrol and the inaccuracies of a small child being so essential to the running of a small town.  Maybe TV show creators need to realise adults are clever and realise when something isn’t quite right…




Maybe great the great british institution of Postman Pat would quell the bloodlust in the commenting parents?  Not a chance the workshy, clumsy and buffoon of a postman came under particular scrutiny.



Cock Womble really needs to be used more don’t you think?  So at this point people’s anger and violence seemed to be reserved for CBeebies characters, including what seemed to be somebody wanting to do a ‘Mountain’ from Game of Thrones style attack on Poi from Show Me, Show Me and another bloke who wants to dropkick Pingu.

showmepinguSo there is it, one innocent tweet which opened the floodgates of parental torment. Maybe we watch too much kids TV, maybe we don’t watch enough, but whichever it is this topic  has restored my love for comments and for the ‘bottom half of the internet’.  There was a time around Brexit where I thought I would never venture there again, but alas Mr Manford has helped to show me that its not all bad.


2 thoughts on “An Honest View Of Kids TV

  1. I found a lot of preschool kids TV to be bloody torture to sit through. It is so utterly inane and repetitive. My husband can be provoked into a lengthy rant just by comparing something he has done to “Daddy Pig”. We enjoy triggering him just for the sport of it. Flo is too new a human to have forced you to have watched ‘Balamory’. Partly because the setting in Tobermory looked so familiar to my Argyll children, my older kids were addicted to that show and it never failed to drive me utterly berserk. Just the opening few notes of its theme music has me seething, even all these years on. And then there is ‘Lazy Town’ and all those other abysmally didactic shows that seemingly want to suck all the joy out of childhood. I was so relieved when my kids outgrew all that preschool piffle and started watching shows I could enjoy too.

    Incidentally, I had never thought about it before but the children of Greendale are all suspiciously similar to Pat.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Peppa Pig – where all the men seem to be incompetent but loveable, where some animals are pets but others talk and which inspires my kids to jump in every puddle they see. And what the hell is up with Mr Potato?

    In the Night Garden – none of the scales make sense. How can the ninky nonk be about two foot long in comparison to a tree, yet a six foot Upsy Daisy has room to dance inside?!

    Dora the Explorer – who lets their six year old kid go places by themselves which are so far away they need a map to find them?! And when is someone going to lock up that damn Swiper?

    Thomas and Friends – Every voice should be Ringo Starr’s voice. Even the women. ESPECIALLY the women, in fact. Just how much infrastructure does one small island need transported, anyway?

    Bob the Builder – talking of infrastructure, the man is constantly building things in his local community; who is paying for it all? The taxpayer?! He has led my children to believe that anything can be built in a matter of hours for free, which leads to moaning and tears when I explain they can’t magic up a treehouse in ten minutes. And I’ve never seen a builder not ask at least once whether cash-in-hand might be an option.

    Jake and the Neverland Pirates – “A good pirate never takes something that isn’t theirs”. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!! Do you know nothing – that’s the ENTIRE POINT OF BEING A PIRATE!!!!!!

    64 Zoo Lane – put locks on your windows, your kids shouldn’t be able to wander the streets at night unsupervised.

    Horrid Henry – he’s a despicable human being with no redeeming qualities whatsoeer who needs punishment. Serious punishment.

    Octonauts – why are air-breathing mammals in charge of aquatic safety? Would it make more sense if they were all, well, fish?


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