Poo Fear

Apologies for the lack of recent updates as life, work and bloody Pokemon Go has reduced my productivity to its knees this week.  The bad side to this is that I haven’t posted for a week but on the plus side we have been concentrating on Flo’s toilet habits further and getting her up to scratch …kind of.


Going for a wee now is no problem for the Jam-eater and she is now currently running at a semi- pro level of urination.  When she started on the potty we told her to count to ten in her head so she can ‘get rid of the drips’, however she now does this out loud  and she just looks like some sort of counting/peeing eccentric when using the toilet.  Its probably how I will look when I’m 80 to be completely honest.


Going for a poo is the polar opposite and Flo is not enjoying that at all,  she is pretty scared of having a poo at the minute and suffering from a severe bout of ‘poo fear’.  It’s not nice to see any child upset for any reason, however we couldn’t help but muster a  giggle the other morning whilst we were all getting ready.  Florence had decided to tell us that she needed a poo, however the fact of the matter was that she had already done one into her pyjama bottoms about 30 seconds earlier.  As soon as it started to roll down her leg she started dancing around as if breakdancing had come back into fashion and she had downed 18 cans of Red Bull.  Normal service was resumed 30 seconds later once Emma had managed to extract ‘King Kong’s finger’ from the legs of the Jam-eater’s pyjama bottoms.


Flo’s latest phrase in and around toilet activities is ‘can I see?’ and it covers everything from her wee and poo, my wee and poo, the cats wee and poo and everything else you wouldn’t really want to look at.  I was trying to have a tinkle the other morning when I heard the shuffled footsteps of the Jam-eater behind me and the conversation went like this.


Flo: ‘Can I see?’


Me: ‘Errrr no’


[she inches closer at this point]


Flo: ‘Daddy, is that your wee-wee booby?’


Me: ‘Errrr, yes I suppose it is,  could you just pop into your room while I finish’


[she inches further closer at this point]


Flo: ‘No, I want to see’


Me: ‘Flo, nooo……’


At this point as I am unable to run away or hide my ‘wee wee booby’ and Flo decides to get her face right up in my business and nearly gets a little too close.  Luckily as the show was nearly  over she decided to go and run away shouting ‘Daddy’s having a wee wee’.  Luckily she still doesn’t have a clue about the real differences between boys and girls and thinks that boys have beards and girls don’t.  Hopefully she keeps that mentality for the next 10 years.


I had a funny conversation with a friend who hides his ‘wee wee booby’ with his hand and his little girl thinks that he actually pees from his hand now.  It reminds me of the Doctor Who episode ‘Waters of Mars’ where the aliens secrete water out of their hands (below)  I hope he manages to tell her the truth before she ever watches this episode or that is going to be one freaked out child.




2 thoughts on “Poo Fear

  1. I am weak laughing…we too as you know are at the pooing stage and christ while he understands it , he loves to use it as an excuse for every single little thing …it ain’t easy but I know we will get there …eventually .. it won’t be long until Flo has the door bolted and won’t let ya in !
    great piece as always

    Liked by 1 person

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