It has been a remarkably quiet, relaxed and uneventful couple of weeks here in France since I last wrote. It’s a bit on the rainy side today so the girls are making use of some of the DVD’s left in the house and the grown ups are catching up on some reading. I say catching up but we are all rattling through our books at an alarming rate.
We discovered the other day, after a trip to a local town, that the nearby changing facilities weren’t terribly great and after an accident / massive shite, Flo needed changing – so we tracked down some nearby local toilets. They resembled a big empty bathroom, however after Emma had opened the toilet lid she discovered there was an un-flushable ‘Le Rubber Johnnie’ bobbing around (Picture below) like some sort of chlamydia riddled jellyfish. Emma adopted her ‘make do and mend’ attitude (all mothers seem to have this but not Fathers) and got the shit riddled Jam-eater as clean as a whistle in no time at all. Other than this incident the whole area we visited is absolutely beautiful and I cant fault it one bit.
Flo seems to have lost all her ability to balance in the last few days also and now falls over everything French, even dust particles. Her knees are black and blue at the minute and have more scratches then a CD found at the side of the road. Even a little toddle to the end of the garden ends up with her falling arse over tit.
The Jam-Eater and Autumn seemed to make a good impression on some local children as well today, well I say made an impression, basically it was the two girls shouting ‘Bonjour, Bonjour Bonjour’ stupidly loud while bouncing on a trampoline. The little French children just seemed to nod and agree and waved back politely. Perhaps they have been watching the news and and have thought its better to stay away from the English Hooligans which have been prominently placed on the news over here.
Coming into the last days of the break away and a trip to Nantes is on the cards for tomorrow before we return home. I really need to stop pronouncing it as ‘Nonce’ though. Luckily English speakers are few and far between around where we are based, as let’s be honest, it’s a good thing as I don’t think it would sound great overhearing me say ‘C’mon kids time to go visit nonce.’ The correct way to pronounce it apparently is ‘Nohnt’ so I will practice that to prevent any faux pas…or any Interpol or Operation Yewtree arrests.
By the way if you ever fancy a nice relaxing spell in France I couldn’t recommend this house and location enough. All details here www.houseofchiche.com
* Also if your looking for a picture of a submerged condom I am sorry to disappoint you. Wierdo.