The Hen Party Crasher

Today was a great opportunity for a ‘Daddy-Daughter Day’.  Emma was out with her friends in the Lake District,  and the sun was shining in the North East for a change,  so I decided to hop onto a train with the Jam-eater and see where we ended up.  On the way to the train station I settled on York as our destination of choice and hopped onto the first train to take us there…I should have waited for the second.

 The train was packed so I jumped into the first seat we could find, Flo jumped onto my knee and as the train started moving I noticed we had decided to sit amongst a Hen Party heading to York also. All of them we exceedingly merry (absolutely shitfaced being the more appropriate term) for 10.30am in the morning.  The Hen Party were all dressed as Bumblebees (not the transformer, the insect) for some reason and were opening another bottle of Bargain Booze’s finest Prosecco into a Styrofoam cup when Flo decided to point and shout ‘Why those ladies being bees?!’  BOOM that was it, Flo was now an honorary member of ‘Julies’ Hen-Do’

I now had Flo talking with 3 or 4 of the hens in the imminent vicinity of us.  To be honest the language was a lot lighter now Flo was involved, however I was cautious that the Prosecco was working its way towards her.  The rest of the 30-minute journey was Flo telling several pissed up Bumblebees that her favourite TV show is Doc McStuffins and that she also likes Peppa Pig. This then led one of the Hens, who I will refer to as ‘Wobbly Denise’ to sing the theme tune of Peppa Pig back to Flo, then to the rest of the carriage.  Luckily the train rolled into the station at York and we made our escape from the Hen Party, God help York tonight.

The Jam-eater has an amazing knack of inviting herself into groups of people by blatantly just sauntering into the conversation or doing something to draw attention to herself, however the weirdest time was when she made no effort whatsoever.  We were in Italy a couple of years ago,  Flo would have just turned one and we decided to visit Venice as it was nearby.  For the record, as beautiful as Venice is, never visit in 35c heat with a chubby baby in a pushchair.  The amount of stairs we carried her up and over was ridiculous, lesson learnt but I just really wanted to visit the place,  the next day my arms were aching like a motherfu**er.

We were waiting for a boat to take us back out of Venice when Emma moved Flo into the shade and I went for a wander or something.  I came back to randomly find around 8-10 Asian tourists taking pictures of Flo, I can still remember Emma’s pure look of surprise and confusion.  They didn’t speak a word of English but I do remember they were very polite and asked if they could take the pictures, well the best they could mange without speaking English anyway.  We tried to make a swift getaway but it turned out they were on the same boat with us and we had to have them follow us and photograph us for another 30-40 minutes.  Emma and I still wonder if there was a famous ‘Flo Doppleganger’ elsewhere in an Asian country, I guess we will never know.

 I have no photos of ‘Wobbly Denise’ or the rest of the Hen Party (I was genuinely too scared to ask), but I have put some photos  of the ‘Venice Incident of 2014’ below.  I hope you find it as odd and amusing as we did. 








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