The Child with the 33 year old feet. 

Flo is a typical girl of late, as she loves her bags and her shoes.  This isn’t a problem as such, apart from every trip to town will end up with the Jam-eater finding a new bag to play with and obsess over.  

The shoe thing is becoming a bit of a problem.   Shoes and Slippers are the order of the day for Flo and she will not be without either of them.  This means shoes through the day and slippers at night. The problem is the fact that she refuses to sleep without her slippers on. 

 Not only did Flo inherit my smouldering good looks (ok, that’s debatable), my wandering eyebrows and extremely loud voice, she also appears to have inherited the same stinky feet as a 33 year old man.  

Seriously, her feet are like mini nuclear reactors and give off more heat than a McDonalds Apple Slice. It’s a well known fact that those slices are probably the hottest thing on this earth, well apart from Nigella Lawson, but that’s a different post for a different day. 

I think we currently have four pairs of slippers for the stinky footed Jam-Eater which are constantly in a wear, wash, dry, wear cycle.  If we break this cycle for two or three days, we pay the price. We get a visit from the stinky slipper fairy, which is basically a wafting stilton smell from her Peppa Pig slippers.  Actually, I think a pig would smell nicer. 

Sometimes my heart melts with how much I love this kid, but sometimes my lungs melt when I breathe in her cheesy feet fumes.

Speaking of feet, has anyone actually negotiated the first 3 years of a child’s life and actually managed to keep all of their socks in pairs. I am sure we have a sock poltergeist in this house that steals 40% of Flo’s socks and hides them in an alternative sock universe.  Or maybe it’s Emma. 

Emma always manages to get a pair of socks without fail from the sock drawer. I’m never successful and always have to mash together socks which are just about passable as a pair of socks. I’m sure the girls at Flo’s nursery must know who has dressed the Jam-eater that morning. 

Time to go and eat the McDonalds Apple Slice I bought four days ago, it should be cool enough to eat at last. 


2 thoughts on “The Child with the 33 year old feet. 

  1. Ah socks. It does not get any easier as they get older. I actually maintain a sock orphanage in my utility room. Every few months I go through it and accept that the other sock is never going to appear. I have not a clue where they go. Same place as the tea spoons possibly.

    PS Try sprinkling bicarb in the slippers.

    Liked by 1 person

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