The Bumhole Breakdown

I mentioned a couple of weeks back that we had started Potty Training, so I thought I would provide a quick update. It’s not got going swimmingly, I have to admit. 

I think Flo is testing us now as she was game as a badger before, but due to work etc, we had to delay the training. Now she is making us work for it.

So, now the Jam-eater is walking around the house either in pants, or fully commando. The fully commando part takes some getting used to though. 

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but do children only realise that they can touch their toes once they have no clothes on? It’s all Flo wants to do when she feels a gentle breeze on her arse-cheeks.

It’s all very odd. I’ll walk into the living room then BAM!, Flo’s bumhole is just staring me in the face. I will be eating a sandwich then BAM!, a bumhole. Drinking a cup of coffee, BAM! a bumhole. Picking toys up, BAM! bumhole. You get the picture, I’m going to have a bumhole induced breakdown. 

I apologise for the repeated use of the word ‘Bumhole’ but it’s all I seem to have seen the last day or two when I haven’t been at work. The main reason I have gripes is due to the fact we own a cat that likes to lick its arsehole for a good percentage of the day and by god does that wear thin quickly. 

Honestly, I don’t know what she is looking for down there but she isn’t finding it anytime soon. Even during the night, you hear her going at it hammer and tongs cleaning her hoop. Sometimes it sounds like there is an old woman in the corner of our bedroom eating soup. 

It must be the most pristine feline bumhole of all time (for the record I’m not keeping tabs on that particular comment).

So, hopefully we will reduce the sightings of arseholes and progress back to sensible potty usage in the coming days and weeks. I think the erratic shift patterns in this house are only going to hinder things, however we will crack on and win this battle like the others which have come before it.

I also promise never to say bumhole again. Well, maybe for today at least.


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